Yesterday was supposed to be 13 miles with 4 at tempo pace. The weather forecast for the day was not great; cold and snowy. So the Treadmill (otherwise referred to as The Dreadmill by friends) was going to be where I ran these miles. The last time I ran a long run on the treadmill it wasn't so bad so I thought to myself, I can do this! I went to Yoga the night before, did all of my refreshing and relaxing exercises to mentally prepare for the journey of running in place for what would feel like an eternity. I updated my Nano, arranged friends to come and run next to me and felt like I OK, I am ready.
That evening I kept waking up. Literally every hour I was checking my phone to see if I needed to get up yet. On top of the fact that right now I am babysitting my nephews and the little one George was making lots of noises in his sleep so we kept going on to check on him. (Being the great babysitters we are ;)).
Anywhoo... when 4am rolled around I was already up and thought, lets go eat and get this show on the road. I ate, got ready, went to lifetime, started running and after about 1.5 miles I wanted to DIE! Literally, I felt like the world was coming to an end and I did not want to do another single step on that treadmill. So I did the next best thing and thought, well maybe if I do my tempo now and just muscle through it I will feel better. So at 2 miles I sped up the speed and started running faster. Then, I wanted to DIE even more!!! I hated every second of it. I felt like grabbing onto the treadmill to help me out and I DID. This is totally cheating in my book and I could not believe I was watching myself do it.
Anywhoo, after only 1 mile of that I got off the treadmill, used the restroom, had my gel shot (this are normally saved for around mile 6) and thought ok, relax you can do this now just find another treadmill and try again.
Got on another treadmill and still, hated it. I texted my girlfriend to see if she was on her way because otherwise I was heading home! I had given up. She was almost there so I stuck myself in a chair and started to wonder what the heck was going on with me. I have run so many longer harder and shorter faster runs that I could not for the life of me figure out why I was feeling so junky.
Thank goodness for friends! She came along and I was able to get a little over 4 more miles in running the entire time without too much stress. I was still dragging but having someone to chit chat with and complain to can make all the difference in the world.
So I knew I had 6 more miles I wanted to run and I knew that I needed to do 4 of them faster so I told myself to go home, relax and try again that afternoon outside regardless of the weather. Once again thought, I can do this! I am from Minnesota for heavens sake, bad weather here is like balmy weather there.
I came home, rented a movie for the kids and just sat on the couch and relaxed. Time went by, I needed to get up and make lunch and get the kids organized and ready for school. I still was feeling tired and sluggish so I decided to do the unthinkable. I drank a Spark. (for those of you who know me, my body does crazy things when it has too much caffeine and Spark is full of it) But at this point, I didn't care, I just wanted to get my run in.
Anyways, to make this long dragging story end I bundled up and went for it. It was snowing outside and most of the roads were snow packed so I made my way to a main road which would hopefully just be wet. Then after my mile warmup I started to run faster. I felt ok at first but quickly that feeling came over me of horrid crappyness and annoyance. My body was like fighting all of it! I ran 2 miles at tempo and stopped and almost gave up, I went into my dentist office(it was right around the corner) and used the restroom (on runs I seem to find comfort in restrooms... I dunno) and literally debated about just calling it a day and saying at least I did my best. Then in my head I thought NO, I am not giving up. I went back outside, ran the two more tempo pace miles faster then the other two AND they were both slightly going uphill, and did a cool down mile and was done! I DID IT. I really almost thought so many times today that I just was going to call it a day but I didn't. I muscled through it and although it wasn't a great run to brag about I didn't give up.
So don't give up I say! We all have crappy days and today was one of mine! But the feelings I am having now after completing what I set out to do have been well worth it. I totally don't care that this run wasn't one for the record books. I know I can do better but who cares. I didn't give up and today that is all that mattered.
Happy Running all =)